My worst day ever

There comes a time in every man’s life when he realizes things aren’t going to work out like he hoped they would. That happened to me on my 16th
birthday, probably the worst day in my life (I’m 21 now, legally drunk as I write this). Susie Ezeelay was not going to go all the way with me. I
had sped to first, barreled through second but was tripped up heading to third. When I went to reach my hands under her skirt, her dad’s version of
a “chastity belt” stopped me. He had sewn a rat trap into the inner layer and it had snapped shut on my fingers, causing me to yell out in pain
just as I went to blow in her ear. Days later when she regained her hearing she apologized to me for the trap.

After getting over the initial pain and fright of this experience, I dropped Susie off at home and told her “GOODBYE, I’LL SEE YOU TOMORROW”. I
decided to cruise into town and look for Anita Hungman, I figured she’d be impressed with my very swollen fingers. She usually palled around with
Allie Spredquick and Lisa Wetlips. I was hoping to catch Anita either alone or with just her friends, if her ex-boyfriend Miso Hungwell was around I
wouldn’t get any nookie. He was always hanging with Al “The Bull” Sitartist. He was a 6’4” pack of muscle that bullied me from the 1st grade
on. Most recently he had caught me alone out along the horse trail and took me on what he called a “dung roll”. This is exactly what it sounds
like. He rolled me for the better part of an hour before grabbing a huge handful of manure and smashing me in the face. He skipped away laughing as I
lie there, blood and snot oozing from my nose; saliva and horse crap flowing from my mouth.

I spotted Anita coming out of the Mexican restaurant “The loosened Colon ” and as luck would have it, she was completely alone. I pulled along
side her in the ’72 Pinto I had gotten that day for my birthday. She glanced over at me as I slyly said “Sup baby, wanna go for a cuh-ruise?”
She looked amusingly at my car and reluctantly agreed, she said all her friends were picking apples over at Old man Longroot’s orchard. She hopped
in the passenger side and she let out a little squeal and went “ooooh”. “I stared at her with a slight smirk and said “You comfortable
baby”. She looked at me and said “not really, one of the springs in the seat went straight up my ass”

We decided to drive out to Pole Looted lake for a little night swim. I was very excited because I knew neither of us had bathing suits so we would
both be naked. We arrived about 9 o’clock and I jumped out and was mostly naked when I saw she was just standing there with her legs crossed. I
asked her if she still wanted to swim and she said “Oh yes, why don’t you get started and I’ll follow you in a minute, I need to go into the
bushes and take a wicked dump”. I got naked and carefully folded my clothes and placed them on my seat, I could hear Anita grunting from the bushes
off to the left. The thought of her being naked had me very excited, and so I waded in to chest deep water to hide my arousal. She finally joined
after about 20 minutes saying she felt much better, asking me to turn around while she got undressed. We swam for a little bit and finally to my
dismay she said she needed to get home. We got dressed about 10:00 and drove back to town. All the while I could detect a very bad smell. I made a
quip about it but she assured me it wasn’t her as she had cleaned herself in the lake. I dropped her off at her house and figured it wasn’t her as
I still smelled it all the way home. As I got undressed to shower that night I found the cause of the horrific odor, the bitch had used my shirt to
wipe her ass.

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